Dave Barry Quotes

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

~ Dave Barry

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

~ Dave Barry

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

~ Dave Barry

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

~ Dave Barry

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

~ Dave Barry

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.

~ Dave Barry

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

~ Dave Barry

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

~ Dave Barry

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

~ Dave Barry

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you're RIGHT I NEVER would've thought of that'

~ Dave Barry

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