Billy Madison Quotes

Billy Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP. 3rd Grader I dare you to touch her boobs. Billy Touch her boobs That's assault brotha...... Ya double dare me

~ Billy Madison

Billy T-T-T-T-Today, Junior

~ Billy Madison

Juanita Ooh that boy's a fine piece of work all right. He's a fine piece of ass though, too.

~ Billy Madison

Billy Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool Really.

~ Billy Madison

Principal Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

~ Billy Madison

Billy Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

~ Billy Madison

Billy No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.

~ Billy Madison

Principal Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, and I am just gonna snap.

~ Billy Madison

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