Woody Allen Quotes

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

~ Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered

~ Woody Allen

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

~ Woody Allen

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

~ Woody Allen

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

~ Woody Allen

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

~ Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

~ Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

~ Woody Allen

At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time.

~ Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

~ Woody Allen

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